Questions! From the WorkPlay Theater, Birmingham, AL.

"Languishing in rooms I built to foul you in" refers to the Winchester Mystery House, in which the widow of the Winchester rifle tycoon built rooms, staircases to nowhere, and superfluous corridors on her mansion until the day she died, as a means of thwarting the many ghosts of those killed by Winchester rifles, whom she was certain were coming for her. Connection to walking-around-in-circles is hopefully self-explanatory; the direct meaning is that I attempted to elude a toxic person, rather than stand and deal.

I hear what you're saying, and your rap is strong.

Couldn't tell you; meant that rhetorically.

Again, rhetorical question. I am glad you remember lyrics from a song I wrote.

The pseudonyms I came up were shitty. (the admonishments of my publishers' lawyer were also indeed a factor)

I would say that it's not nature, or nurture, alone, but both nature and nurture.

She would be really, really bummed out if I revealed that. She was extremely uptight about being in the book. I certainly can't blame her for that.

Questions! From New Orleans, 11 February 2012.

I don't believe so. But, it seems inevitable, doesn't it?

One of the great pleasures of my life is when people say Soul Coughing lyrics AT me.

I don't know if there are any takers. I don't know any A-list celebrities, but I assure you, I would ask if I did. Sidebar: who maintains the letter-echelon rankings, and what's the algorithm they use?

Alas, no. I'm girlfriended quite thoroughly.

Asked the girlf if she had any funny comments in response. She suggested a joke involving a Sriracha bottle. Should I be bothered that she didn't just say MASSIVE?

Inform them, politely but firmly, that circumstances may call for a side-trip to Baltimore.

The unsingable girl.

I suggest that those nations in fiduciary crisis observe Matt Saldivar's First Law of Rocking, which is: "Don't stop rocking."

I can't imagine the sum that'd make it worthwhile for me. Love what I'm doing now, wouldn't want to distract from it, and doing something by rote, just for money = a shitty job. I'd rather play songs I love and believe in, in humbler contexts.

The only C Kasem dedications I can recall are, a) "Ponderous, fucking ponderous!" and, b) "These guys are from England and who gives a shit?!" However, in my own rustic, non-Kasem manner, I dedicate Trm Brntts to Lori, ex post facto.

Sure. Wow, I remember the cancellation of that gig. So surreal and frightening.

I don't think I'd actually do it, even if it were a "freelapse". Love my life right now, and I'm just not interested in a side-trip. I know that sounds cornily implausible, but I'm sincere.

I get a lot of requests to play weddings, actually. I'm not opposed to playing them, but it's very, very expensive. Also, I won't do anything like facilitate a toast or something similarly ceremonial. It's awkward to be in the situation; hence, large bucks.

I AM A FAT BABY

Hideous, dreadful. I do think, though, that many of us recovering addicts view people that die due to drug use or drunkenness as something along the lines of succumbing to cancer. It's horrible, but it's so, so rare to survive it. We empathize so deeply.

Questions! From the Orpheum, in Tampa, FL.

By "abandon [sic] locations", do you mean MySpace? Yes. I think the only thing that'd get me back on MySpace is a desire to communicate with way-word [sic] spirits, and, even in those cases, I probably couldn't remember my password.

Yes.

I'm gonna say yes.

I've been fantasizing about the Trans-Siberian Railroad. Moscow to Beijing, with a detour through Mongolia.

Elemental creatures are bass players from France. They help a lot.

For one thing--and I'm serious--how beautiful their respective alphabets are.

I loved Jeanette Walls' "The Glass Castle".

I would be heck of rich.

Kill Newt, kill Mitt, kill Ron, fuck Shirley Chisholm, marry Shirley Chisholm.

I don't know what those are. So, I'll say yes.

Van's rather packed. So, alas, I must rebuff.

Ableton.

Josh Wink, "Higher State of Consciousness".

Steal.

Scottish king. Met these witches. Wife got weird, washed repeatedly.

String theory, like most advanced science, is to me basically like an Aztec priest saying, "We have to rip this dude's heart out, at the top of the pyramid, and put it in the special magical stone bowl, or the sun won't rise!" (ps there is no Dana only Zuul)

I will be your Valentine-in-Absentia.

Questions! From the Social, Orlando, FL.

It's a sample of a radio preacher named the Reverend Izear, which I got off the WFMU blog. I did some weird things to it in Ableton, I don't quite recall what. Sped it up for sure, but I don't recall the method I used. I heart Ableton. The Reverend Izear's message was dig-Jesus, send-money.

I do. Many years back he AOL instant-messaged me, and I freaked out on him, accusing him of being an impostor. Sure, I'd love to do stuff with Ben.

You are correct. 1970.

Dig 'em!

"Lisa/Lucy" It was about couples that look alike (obviously fictionalized) Though not all Asian women are willowy and longhaired, and thus I didn't intend it as a race reference, I felt slightly skeevy about it. I would've written it about my friend Larry and his boyf Curtis, who are also identical, but they don't have the perfect storm of alliteration that L.L. and L.L. do. I got rid of those bridges to make room for more mmm-yeahs. I like the arrangement on Golden Delicious better, but I think the Rockity Roll recording is better and rawer.

My experiences as a Webelo.

Oh. Jeez. No. Nothing you haven't heard of already, I'm sure. I'm not a hater or anything, I just don't really watch anything but jail shows on MSBC. I loved all the talking-head-pop-culture-commentary-and-analysis shows on VH1, too, but they appear to have stopped making them. That's an acronym for "Video Hits One", for the uninitiated. 

This being ex-post-facto, as you know, I didn't. Had to drive.

Questions from the Evening Muse, in Charlotte, NC.

Just to reiterate, I'm answering questions from the shows that I was unable to answer from the stage.

Clyde.

I think Rockity Roll, or Sad Man Happy Man. I love you, too, and you're very welcome.

I don't know what this means, and I'd be cheating if I Googled.

No, and no.

Now that I've answered those questions: I'm sure you don't mean to be mean to me, but it's weird to have lyrics just kind of said at me.

I also wonder if you've heard about how awful, hurtful, and destructive life in Soul Coughing was for me, and, if so, why you'd prod me about it.

Girl. In a grander sense, as opposed to "pussy" (which I just typo'd as "putty", and maybe I should've not corrected it).

I'm hoping somebody else already time-traveled to 1933 and killed Hitler, because I'd like to go to 1993, fire my miserable bandmates in Soul Coughing, and make a record with the Dust Brothers.

I don't know that I could.

I will forward all entries to you.

I guess I'd say Rue McClanahan, being that she was such a vocal exponent of doin' it.

Could I write in Monroe from Too Close for Comfort?